Big. White. Box. Black brick. Green Square. Purple Square. Patchwork quilt.
smaller tan box. Multicolored boxes on top of that. White box has a hole in it. A rectangular hole. And a smudge in green and black. Smudge wont come off.

Readers, friends, if you turn these pages
Put your prejudice aside,
For, really, there's nothing here that's outrageous,
Nothing sick, or bad — or contagious.
Not that I sit here glowing with pride
For my book: all you'll find is laughter:
That's all the glory my heart is after,
Seeing how sorrow eats you, defeats you.
I'd rather write about laughing than crying,
For laughter makes men human, and courageous.

BE HAPPY

-La vie de Gargantua et de Pantagruel

Egon Schiele

Gypsy

by Kees van Dongen

Dystopia

When I was younger, probably around 13, I had this built up image of what I thought was "cool." My aspirations for my life at that time were to live up to my shallow ideal person.

My idea of cool was that "college type". You know, the girl in ratty clothes, smoking, constantly reading, passed out on the grass in a park, struggling with money, etc.

Now that i'm here... I want out. Who knows... in another 7 years perhaps i'll look back on my life right now and realize that these are the "good old days."

PRIDE IN UTAH'S FIRST PODCAST!!!

Hey kids, so my brother is the author of prideinutah.com and he and his buddy Misty just put out their first podcast! Check it out! Criticism ready.

http://prideinutah.com/podcast/PrideInUtahPodcast20100906.mp3

I am a biiig believer in Government conspiracies. Now, before you start judging like a fiend let me explain myself.

I believe in Government conspiracies. HOWEVER, I also believe in the philosophy of accepting and letting go. So, basically... I accept that this is true. I also accept the fact that there is nothing that can be done about it. I am going to play the game, and get the fuck out of here. Amen.

"I'm somebody now, Harry. Everybody likes me. Soon, millions of people will see me and they'll all like me. I'll tell them about you, and your father, how good he was to us. Remember? It's a reason to get up in the morning. It's a reason to lose weight, to fit in the red dress. It's a reason to smile. It makes tomorrow all right. What have I got Harry, hm? Why should I even make the bed, or wash the dishes? I do them, but why should I? I'm alone. Your father's gone, you're gone. I got no one to care for. What have I got, Harry? I'm lonely. I'm old. I like the way I feel. I like thinking about the red dress and the television and you and your father. Now when I get the sun, I smile." - Sara Goldfarb

Sitting up in a dark room. Snores. Snores from Schwester and Chica.
Snores from Mr. Wisconsin and Ms. Hummingbird next door. Schwester keeps putting her feet on me... ew. *push*

Going to watch X-files.

Math in the morning.

Why do people HAVE to have a "light at the end of a tunnel."
Example: God.

Religions say that you have a mission on Earth. God's plan.
Why can't you just live? Why do lives HAVE to have some kind of divine purpose?

Nightmare on Elm Street 3 and 4

Twitter updates as I watch the movies for the first time. Yeah, i'm on Twitter. Suck it.

"Truckin' through Elm Street 3 and 4. They came in a 10 dollar set with 1 and 2. I only like the first one. Why do they force me to buy these?"

OH SHIT! Bitch fell asleep... 1, 2, Freddy's coming for you. AH SHIT FREDDY CUT THAT BITCH

Poor Mummy and Stuart have to sit here and listen to horror movies for the rest of the summer. Muahahahaha

What the hell........ giant slimy freddy head-snake eating a girl? It looks like a penis... ZOMG AND IT TALKS!!! This movie is horrible.

Laurence Fishburne and Patricia Arquette are in Nightmare on Elm Street 3????? wtf?????

zomg, this movie is full of little gems. BAhahaha http://youtu.be/wFH-JtZ9hIc

Freddy just tied a kids arms and legs to a bed with four tongues and said "what's the matter joey? Feeling tongue-tied?" *face-palm*

Now this movie is just getting stupid...

Finished NOES 3, but I just couldn't make it through NOES 4. It should have never been made. Like Alien 3 and 4.




My god. Numbers 3 and 4 were terrible. I'm going to turn my head and pretend NOES 2,3,4, and 5 never happened.

"On the page it looked, nothing. The beginning... simple, almost comic. Just a pulse... bassoons, basset horns, like a rusty squeeze box. And then... suddenly... high above it... an oboe. A single note hanging there unwavering. Until, a clarinet took it over. Sweetened it into a phrase of such delight. This was no composition by a performing monkey. This was a music I'd never heard. Filled with such longing, such unfulfilled belonging."

Verdi's Requiem

Shitfuck LOOOOOVE.

Saw it live tonight.

Driving in the car today with my brother today. Mormon conference was going on. My brother turned on the radio and it was conference. The man speaking said, "Only with morality, reading your scriptures, and praying can a person reach true happiness where everyone else is lost."

Dear sir, FUCK YOU!!! MYSOGYNISTIC FUCKWAD!!!

Chronicles of a Telemarketer

I have a cubicle. And that cubicle has a computer. And that computer has a list of people who hate me. And those people who hate me have never talked to me.

I'm one of those people that call you doing dinner time, and ask for money. Yup. I've joined the ranks of the most loathed people in phone history. It is a scary job. I am nervous every time I go in for a shift. I have never been good at talking to people on the phone, so I suppose this is a good situation. I am already getting better after three days. This job also provides me with some funny stories. Unfortunately, with the funny comes the sad. Here are some of the highlights I've collected from today:

"Hi my name is Maddie, i'm a sophomore from the..."
"Look, i'm not giving you money. I was diagnosed with cancer today. I'm fucking DYING." *click*


Here is a call to a woman who graduated from college in 1932. Just imagine a stereotypical old lady voice.

"Hi, my name is Maddie..."
"What?"
"My name is Maddie..."
"WHAT?"
"MY NAME IS MADDIE."
"I can't hear a goddamn word you're saying." *click*


This next lady graduated in 1953. We talked for over 30 minutes before I dropped the money question on her.

"blah blah blah... donation?"
"Oh, i'm so sorry. I just lost my business that I've had for over 30 years. This economy has really shot me in the kneecap."
"Oh... well..."
"And my son just lost his job of 15 years, and now he's living with me. We're struggling just to keep my house and to eat. I'm afraid things are just too tight. I am very sorry, you sound like such a wonderful young lady."




Other stories include a woman who plays in a Middle Eastern band (I could hear her band rehearsal in the background... bad. ass.) I also spoke with a woman who traveled all over the world, an artist who became a navy pilot in Vietnam, a jazz musician, and a lady who has moved around the U.S. once every 2 years since she was 18.


Work is kind. Work is hard. Work is fun. Work is sad.

Sitting.
Reading.
Hoping.
Dreaming.
Realizing.
Failing.
Accepting.
Retreating.

When you sit there. Or stand there. Or walk there. It's like meta-physics.
You leave yourself and look into another world that is untouchable. You don't
know if others have felt the same thing. Kind of like how you don't know if
everyone is seeing the same colors you are seeing. It's awesome. It's like
taking candy from a baby... which, for me, is pretty damn cool. Fall back on
the floor, and breathe it out. It tastes like shit, but it feels like great shit.
Great shit. Shit you want. Shit you start to need. Shit you love. Shit becomes your
best friend. Fuck you Jesus, this is the shit now.