How Gone with the Wind SHOULD have ended.

Created by Maddie and Eric:


Prissy: "Miss Scarlett, Miss Scarlett, Miss Scarlett..." *SLAP*

Scarlett: Time to meet the strap you whiny bitch.

*whole cast runs in* Can we watch?

Scarlett: Oh Rhett DO tie my brooch onto your belt.

Rhett: Why would I want to do a thing like that?
Scarlett: So we may beat Prissy to a pulp.

Rhett: Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

*Scarlett whips out a revolver and shoots Rhett in the head.*

After Scarlett shoots Rhett in the head... the rest of the company gets a little nervous... Sue-Ellen, India, and Ashley move towards the door to leave... Scarlett catches this and screams, "ANY OF YOU FUCKING PRICKS MOOOVE, AND I'LL EXECUTE EVERY MOTHER FUCKING LAST ONE OF YOU!"

After they've settle down, she motions Prissy over to her. "You ever heard of the Bear Christian?" she asks. "Now you say something in a normal voice just once, or I'm calling the Bear Christian over."

Prissy starts humming to herself.

"Hey... Mammy!" yells Scarlett. "Got us a simpleton here who wants to die for stupidity, oBLIGE her!"

A thud is heard from the kitchen... a pulse... it grows louder and louder and louder until... THE BEAR CHRISTIAN EMERGES!
Mammy... holding a spatula in her hand walks towards Prissy's shriveled up figure casting it in shadow.

She raises the spatula ready to strike when India makes a break for the door. Oddjob (who is now in Gone with the Wind) chucks his hat and decapitates India... much to Scarlett's delight.

In the confusion, Prissy manages to squirm away from the larger bulk of Mammy, she turns to run slams into the unmoveable girth of Jaws. The 7 ft tall man grabs both sides of Prissy's head, lifts her off the ground and gives her a big kiss. "Prissy, my darling angel... my love of the universe. Come back to Lina Lamont and myself. I swears honey, i's do much better this time."

Scarlett: FUCK THAT SHIT!
*whips out her lightsaber and starts going apeshit on everyone*


Cue melodious and dramatic Gone with the Wind music to cloud the screams of agony coming from the cast.

Fin.

Two... semi-weird looking gametes pair up.
Produce a kind of, sort of, not really good looking diploid zygote.
That zygote... goes out into the world. Let's call zygote, "gene" now.
Gene goes out and finds another gene that is weird looking. Genes have hot gene sex. Produce little genes that are simply fucking ugly.

Here's the thing. I hate the fact that the ugliest people breed the most. (Not in all cases... but in most cases). Most of the people i'm talking about, have children and grandchildren that look like the products of incest. Hmmm... wait a minute...

Well... here I am. With nothing to write. So, why am I writing? Maybe something will come out of this. I'm sitting at Coffee Shop watching "The Sopranos" for a class. Yes, I get to watch television for a class. It's snowing outside. Not too pleased about this... it was so sunny the last week.

Anyway, I did not go to school on Monday or Tuesday. Why?
Mostly it had to do with that whole... "me no skool" frame of mind. Instead, I went home and played Red Dead Redemption. This has got to be one of my favorite xbox 360 games aside from Left 4 Dead and Left 4 Dead II. I like games where you can ride around on horses and shoot things. I am already a Grand Theft Auto junky (San Andreas... straight up), so this was just GTA with COWBOYS. HEEEEEELLLLLL yes. I think I chose the perfect week to not go to school for the first couple of days. I don't necessarily have much to do aside from reading. So... I did homework at night, but during the day I was a renegade cowboy badass shooting coyotes, wolves, and wild boars. Fuck em.

Turns out nothing came out of this. There was no sudden epiphany or spout of great intellectual knowledge. Maybe someone can pull a character study on this.