"You see, this is my life! It always will be! Nothing else! Just us, the cameras, and those wonderful people out there in the dark!"

Tangled in Weeds

I love the show Weeds. End story. Watch it.

www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Zombie Attackage!!!

I finally used the excuse of my little brothers visit to persuade my mom to get the freaking awesome game, "Left 4 Dead." It's a fantastic zombie massacre game. My little brother and I beat the whole game last night on co-op. My brain was tingling with zombie awesome and I couldn't get them out of my head. So, naturally, I ended up having a dream that there was a massive break-out of crazy zombies. When I woke up, I believed that my dream was real. The result: I jumped out of bed and ran away from the window and said out loud, "This is a horrible place to be during a zombie attack!

In a Somnia

Here I find myself again. Night after night as long as I can remember. Doing the usual rutine while everyone else sleeps. Some times there are subtle additions that vary my nightly rutine (just to keep me on my toes, i'm sure). These subtle additions usually come with where I just so happen to be staying that evening. I have grown accustomed to house-hopping (or couch surfing) for about two years now. Seeing as how I have been living in the University dorms during school, I only have to worry about this during holidays and summer vacation. The result of this couch surfing extravaganza is the variation of nightly patterns which rely on when my gracious host chooses to sleep, and what I have access to. Here are some examples:

Mummy and her Boyfriend: They go to bed around 9:30-10:00 p.m. and I have access to satellite t.v. Unfortunately, no internet. It's a long long long night of Roseanne reruns and subpar history channel specials. But there is quite the nice leather couch that I have full access to... except I have to share it with the two cats.

Downtown chums: No internet. No television. Small scractchy couch in the same room as the gracious host. Gracious host likes to have boyfriend over. A lot. It's awkward. They go to bed eventually...

Sugarhouse buddies: These guys are great to stay with, but you don't want to overstay your welcome. They stay up until about 3 a.m. (mostly drinking and smoking hookah and weed). No internet, BUT there IS an N64. And there are a couple couches to choose from. Lots of merry company into the wee hours.

Emergency residence: This is the place I go to if there is an option between this place and a parking lot. Not because it's trashy... because it isn't... but it's a home with a young family. I chill in the basement as everyone goes to bed at 8:00 p.m. and it's only for a single night if ever.

Home Sweet Home: This is the place I have found myself staying the most. Not out of my own personal want and need, but my more-than gracious host invites me to stay for long periods of time. Average bedtime here is 11:00 p.m. which is pretty good. I usually have a mattress, but I have been upgraded to a bedroom, huzzah! I have internet and unlimited access to food and t.v. at all hours. Only conditions (which I have made myself for myself) is that I watch my language a bit. Seeing as how they are mormons, I find that it is probably a courtesy I owe them. My sailor mouth must be leashed!... temporarily.

Couch-surfing has taught me how extraordinarily generous people can be. I hope that in the near future I can have the means to repay everyone who has helped me. For now, they have my undying gratitude. I just hope I can creep around as quiet as the little hobbit I am without waking them up during the wee hours.

Bottles, bibs, and briars rare,
dressers full of underwear,
giggles, gorging, gleaming eyes,
little saucers tasting pies.
Caster oil makes stomachs fly in the air.

Notes, nooses, and narrow crates,
pimples pop like aging dates,
questions, quivers, quizzes jive,
Cashiers typing to be alive.
Girls and boys sit and accept their fates.

Dentures, Dread, and Death surrounds,
artheritis makes the rounds,
Wrinkles, warriors, waffer dip,
wheelchairs licking for a sip.
Dignity is left for only the young.

Dog vs. Woman

Ziah. A giant great dane that tumbles in at the staggering weight of 793 pounds. Maddie, who weights somewhat less, takes on The Beast.

Today we find Maddie sprawled out on a couch watching "Modern Marvels." Her canine associate, Ziah, is waking up from a nap and bends his body in an odd squatty position over the carpet.

Maddie: Z... what are you doing?
Ziah: I've gots ta go.
Maddie: Go... go... wait... GO?! *runs over to the dog and starts to push him around the ribcage area* Move, move... you HAVE to do that outside!
Ziah: No, I told you 20 minutes ago with a low grumble that i had to go, and you ignored it. Now i'm bursting, excuse me.
Maddie: Ew, Ziah common... go outside! I have to clean this up!
Ziah: Oh, DO you? In that case, excuse me as I plop out a couple more.
Maddie: AAAAAHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOO

As the story ends, we find Maddie whimpering in the corner with a gas mask, and Ziah... sleeping victoriously under the television... proud of the stone henge he so graciously created on the green shag carpet.

Sitting on Houses

So i'm house sitting for a friend of mine while her family goes to the Bahamas. My duties include feeding the dog and the Beta.
I don't know about any of the other people of the world, but I get incredibly paranoid when I have to house sit. I always feel like there are camera's everywhere and that the family is actually watching me chill in their house. So i never do anything out of the ordinary. I'm pretty paranoid that there are camera's everywhere. Really odd. O_O