Ze Smokers Life

"Smoking kills."
"BLAAAAAAHARFGF, that's what your voice sounds like!"
"Enjoy your black lungs."
"Have fun with the hole in your throat."


Seriously you guys... you think I don't know?

Giant Dorm-Geyser and a very... VERY stupid freshman.

Here is something I believe you should remember for the future: if ever a fire alarm happens to go off again, make sure you use the bathroom before you leave. ESPECIALLY if the fire alarm is what woke you up.

-The management in your head


Dear Dorms,

Now let me make this one thing perfectly clear..... A HUGE PILLAR OF FUCKING CLEAR WATER IS NOT SMOKE!!! *ahem* That little freshman chap or chapess that pulled the fire alarm is responsible for waking up every dorm on the U campus on FRIDAY MORNING. Which means, the day after thirsty thursdays. Great idea. However, I am somewhat indebted. For if this had not happened, we (the classy ladies of 74101) would not have noticed that the fire alarms in each of our rooms didn't work. Thank goodness the one in our apartment foyer works. Then again, I wish it didn't in a case like this, just so i didn't get woken up 2 hours early.

-The Classy Ladies of 74101
Residents of the Green Sustainability Floor
U of U.

First Day

First day of school.

Since i'm back in the dorms it feels like i've never left this place. Stale lettuce, moldy bread, and chocolate milk with far too less chocolate... it's all the same. I wasn't nervous or anything, kind of excited. But now i'm just exhausted. German class was the only one I was kind of sweating about, seeing as how i haven't practiced at ALL this entire summer. So, I walk in the classroom and it's humid as Hell. I look around... nobody I really recognize from the previous year (seeing as how this is the only German 2010 class offered, I figured more would show up). And they did... 2 minutes before class started... what can I say, the old group has style. I sat there and stared at the X-files shirt the kid in front of me was wearing. Mulder was scolding me, shaming me for not practicing over the summer as Scully ran a few lab tests and concluded that I just fail. In big, red, smash bros. letters... FAILURE.



Math... the professor tried (emphasis on "tried") to give us this stirring speech on the anthropology of mathematics. Siiiigh, I have a bad feeling that he's going to put me to sleep. He also wants us to call him by his first name. I don't know what it is, but I have issues calling professors by their first names... I don't know, I guess I like the formality of it all.

Drawing... hmmmm. End story.

Art history tomorrow, i'm excited to go to a class where I feel completely confident in my abilities.


now i'm tired. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzZZZZzzzzzzzz

What I learned Summer of 2009

- Being a hermit can be fulfilling and yet... not.

- A Lord of the Rings Extended Edition marathon CAN happen.

- The Hobbit can be read in one night.

- The Appendix to LOTR is fantastic.

- Half of my summer has been walking to bookstores and reading Tolkienlore for hours.

- Marlboro 100's are the buzz from heaven... but leave nasty looking spots on the lungs.

- Stretch marks can take the form of trees which can create happy-fun-time with a sharpie.

- Choice of soap is Dial.

- Most fun can be had with Claricedear and Jimmyboy

- Talking like Sean Connery is addicting and can be mixed with Christopher Walkin and other random accents.

- Star Fox N64. Still badass.

- Doing a barrel roll can save your life.

- Peppy in the newer Star Fox series is weak and lacks his usual... erm.... charm.

- One can get E-coli and Salmonellabella at the same time... poor Claire...

- G. I. Joe fails, but makes good boom boom.

- I'm a ninja.

- Great Danes make great conversation whenever they deem it fit to speak.

- Drugs are bad.

- Bicycles are handy.

- Meryl Streep should go on Colbert more often.

- Omegle.com is lovely when you find someone who makes great conversation.

- Taiwan looks like it has awesome food.

- Left 4 Dead completes me.

- Mario Bros. fan fiction is...................... lovely. :)

- Morgoroth is more badass than Sauron.

- I will buy a Shenai and become a snake charmer.

- I will physically disable myself and become a bell ringer.

- Coffee. :)

- Nurse Jackie is a lovely way to pass the time until Weeds is on.

- Weeds just isn't as good as it used to be. (Seasons 1-3 rock.)

- Watching the sunrise and watching it the sunset every day is worth it.

- Getting up for school is going to bite.

- Cats are fun to take pictures of.

- The show, Roseanne can be entertaining... but not worth repeating.

- John Goodman... FAILURE.

- Shopping is stressful.

- Living without money is great... until you go to a bookstore.

- Playing with swords is fun.

- Going to movies with Claire is enjoyable... especially during the previews.
(Claire: Wait, isn't D.C. inland?
Maddie: It got flooded Claire... DUH)

- Julia Childs is adorable.

- Iron Chef has proved that you can make multiple courses by just using artichokes (including ice cream).

- My grammar still sucks.

- 10 dollars does NOT go a long way.

- Drunk facebooking is not a good idea... but it does leave funny memories.

- Big bells = Yay!

- You can miss friends a lot and when you meet up with them you can fall right back into where you left.

- Scrubs come in a variety of different cloths.

- Box Elder Bugs are of LUCIFER.

- Finding a job is a bitch.

- Withdrawls are not worth it.

- Camping by oneself is fantastic.

- Sprinklers in the middle of the night by oneself is also fantastic.

- Where your tongue goes when you make a "t" sound still blows my mind in an odd way.

- You CAN fall asleep in the shower... for a long time.

- Indoor plumbing... is a big deal.

- Baby giraffes are cute.

- Stage moms are frightening.

- Kill Bill..... Mmmmm...

- There are thousands of youtube to mp3 converters.

- You can become disillusioned with 4chan.

- It is no long LGBT but LGBTQAIA

- Paid Programming is sorrowful for the insomniac.

- Baby Mr. Coffee brings joy.

- Hans Zimmer warms ye ole soul.

- Mario Tennis can be INTENSE when played as the Williams sisters.

- Faramir and Boromir in the LOTR movies both have big noses.

- I'z Hobbitz.

- Dry skin is uncomfortable... especially without lotion.

- Having an the extra month of May added on to summer vacation just gives one more time to do nothing.

- True friends are willing to drive way out of their way to hang out with you.

Trapped In The Wild

Some of the most beautiful moments i've ever had in my life have happened when i'm completely within the realm of solitude. Many amazing things in life that happen to me I don't tell others, simply because I would end the story with, "I guess you'd just have to be there." But some of the really amazing things that occur that can actually be explained and appreciated I DO tell. Simply because I want to share the joy, and can't help myself from telling somebody... anybody really. It's like the movie "Into the Wild" when the main character finally realizes that real happiness is only worth something when shared.

We would all like to forsake our identity, name, and all the numbers that come attached... and just run full speed into the Wild. Into the great outdoors where you are your own master, where you live off of the earth, experience the life that surrounds constantly. But the sad reality is that we cannot forsake everything as we'd wish. The sly hint of rational dictates to us that we want to be around other humans. We want to share things. We can have our bits of down time to be by ourselves... but reality tells us that humanity is King. We really want it. We need it.